三少四壯集-我來去如風 – 中時電子報
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三少四壯集-我來去如風
2015年10月05日 04:09
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每當凌晨我從醫院回家,索性挨著書桌寫到天亮,那種心情惶惶然卻又悲壯,總以為家裡就要出事了,寫作進度若是因而停輟下來,恐怕以後再也不會去摸索那些停頓的篇章。積水未退,三天三夜,一直滯留在橫隔膜周圍。
三少四壯集-我來去如風 - 中時電子報
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三少四壯集-我來去如風
2015年10月05日 04:09
中國時報 王定國
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每當凌晨我從醫院回家,索性挨著書桌寫到天亮,那種心情惶惶然卻又悲壯,總以為家裡就要出事了,寫作進度若是因而停輟下來,恐怕以後再也不會去摸索那些停頓的篇章。積水未退,三天三夜,一直滯留在橫隔膜周圍。
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澇害非因滂沱大雨,而是父親的肺炎引起肋積水,骨頭下方一片白茫茫,醫師指著X光片說明,積水還不夠多,要等到水患飽滿,穿刺引流時才不會傷及肺部,引發更棘手的氣胸問題。住院病房裡的漫長等待中,那些積水猶如苦旱的小池塘,白天蒸發一些水分出去,晚上卻又滋生一些露水進來,不知是要慶幸這種殘喘中的寧靜,還是期待一場暴風雨快快來襲。幾天後病恙依舊,無喜也無憂,醫生暫准出院觀察,讓我攜回了氧氣筒,兩個小管子分別塞在父親的鼻孔。另外還借來袖珍型的血氧測試機,只要食指伸進匣子裡,血氧指數和心跳頻率就能讀出來,不像平常我們掛在腰間的計步器──你希望那數字步步高昇後停在路邊休息,我卻只能期待它不要輕舉妄動,血氧量最好停在穩定高度,心律則維持不快不慢的平衡,然後寄望抗生素連番強攻,讓那些積水消失得無影無蹤。我陪伴在病榻旁的第三夜,輾轉中瞄他一眼,突然發現氧氣筒外的透明杯管靜如止水,表示筒子裡的存量已經悄悄用罄了。他雖然酣睡著,血氧指數卻在下降中,離天亮卻還早,那種夜深人靜的死寂最是令人驚慌。電話打去那家小醫院,對方表明兩點過後不收任何急患,但那護士小姐大概聽得出我的無助,掩著話筒問旁邊的人,半分鐘後告訴我,氧氣筒我們借你啦,現在趕快過來拿……。我開車出門後,方向盤右方跳出一組數字,02:16,像兩隻羞答答的眼睛在為我計時。我猛踩著油門,那眼睛中間的兩點螢光便加速般閃爍著,彷彿存心瞄著我的焦慮,硬是要在綠燈轉換前跳出新的時間。我開始飛奔,急馳的風中夜涼如水,一直到前方的紅燈把我制止下來,我才喘口氣環顧四周,窗外是那麼寧靜的海,醫院的燈牌一瞬躍入眼中,我這艘慌亂的夜船總算快要靠岸了。那段時間正在趕寫《敵人的櫻花》。每到深夜電話響起,幾乎就是父親又要送院急診的時間。他除了失智症狀不斷,突又多出一種「習慣性脫臼」的病名,左肩關節稍稍晃動立刻走位,整隻手好像斷成了兩截,路上車中頻頻痛訴,趕到醫院時轉為哀嚎,那種劇痛直接侵入我的肉體。每當凌晨我從醫院回家,索性挨著書桌寫到天亮,那種心情惶惶然卻又悲壯,總以為家裡就要出事了,寫作進度若是因而停輟下來,恐怕以後再也不會去摸索那些停頓的篇章。因此,那段時日簡直就像惡海中搶灘,整晚若是一聲電話都不響,便有著一股僥倖的心安,總覺得只要撐過去,我就能從預期的劫難中逃出來。僥倖畢竟難以持久,果然此刻還是奔馳在這樣的路上了。幸好那護士頗為體貼,她把氧氣筒寄放在門口的櫃檯,方便我下車後拿了就走。可惜啊,當我衝回到父親的床榻時,才發現弄錯了,我拿到的是救護車專用的面罩型氧氣筒,而那種架在鼻下的透明圓管根本接不通。再打電話到醫院詢問,那護士已經下班,換了一個醫技人員輪值,他說你十分鐘內可以趕來嗎,不能超過三點喔,鐵門馬上就要關了……。(中國時報),